83. The Dilemma (2011)- Ron Howard

The Dilemma Trailer

What would you do if you witnessed your best friend's wife cheating on him with a much younger man in a simulated jungle? You'd tell him, right? But what if that wife was blackmailing you, by threatening to tell your friend that you were the one making passes at her? This is the basic premise of "The Dilemma." I think if it were rewritten and re-casted, this train wreck of a film would actually have a chance. There are only so many times when I can watch Kevin James acting like a buffoon before I just can't take it anymore. Winona Ryder is a has been, and I can not even look at her without picturing her mug shot. She should've just stopped after Edward Scissorhands. The fact that her character was the supposed evil villain was more comical than anything else. Vince Vaughn was actually kind of touching, though. It was refreshing to see him play a character that has substance beyond just being a womanizer. Beyond that, the story was rather flat, and predictable. I found myself zoning out throughout the entire movie, thinking about all of the other movies I could be watching instead. The climax of the movie finally came in the last twenty minutes, but at that point, it was far too late to be saved. Ron Howard, I'm disappointed in you. You've won an Oscar for Directing (for "A Beautiful Mind"), and somehow manage to direct this bullshit. You can, and have done better. 

82. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012)- John Madden

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Trailer

A very charming depiction of a group of "seasoned" Brits, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" highlights what life is like in the golden years. The story begins with a handful of strangers sitting for hours in an airport after their flight to Jaipur has been cancelled. Soon, they are thrown into a run down, yet alluring hotel in the slums of India. They are immediately disappointed as the accommodations do not match up with those from their brochure. However, as the film progresses, the various characters are put through the physical, as well as mental challenges that come with growing older, all while learning to adapt to their unfamiliar surroundings. Whether it is getting your first real job working as a telemarketer, or learning to handle the death of those closest to you who are your peers, this film delves into it all. The script came with all of the attraction of a British "rom com": quick witty one liners, sentimental and relatable relationships, mixed with a little bit of heart break that can only be found with extremely well developed characters. Virtually a perfect movie, I left the theater feeling a mix of emotions- in a good way. The cast was stellar (Judi Dench, Dev Patel, Bill Nighy, Celia Imrie, Tena Desae...need I go on??) and all lived up to their respective reputations. This film may feature protagonists who's average age is above 60, but that does not mean that it can not be enjoyed by people of all ages. 

81. Battleship (2012)- Peter Berg

Battleship Trailer

When I first heard that one of my favorite childhood games was being turned into a movie, I was instantly concerned. After seeing the finished product, I have decided to not be so critical on this one and take it as it is- a stupid, summer block buster, action adventure, alien movie. That description, in and of itself, makes me roll my eyes as a film major. But, apparently this shit sells so good for them. Anyway, in hindsight it was actually not horrible. The cast was an interesting mix with, Rihanna, Liam Neeson, Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker and Alexander Skarsgard. They all did a decent job, and served their purpose: to look good fighting aliens while wearing navy seal uniforms, which is undoubtedly the most attractive outfit a man can wear. Anyway, if you go into this film having no expectations, you will definitely be entertained. The action and special effects were incredible and looked very realistic. The script was terrible, but that isn't what this movie was about, as long as the ships looked cool blowing up that is all that really mattered. It was totally cheesy, and dumb, but very entertaining at the time. If you're looking for a movie that won't provide thought provoking questions, make you think at all, but show you good looking people fighting aliens- this is certainly for you. Also, you get to say "you sunk my battleship" and really mean it this time. Worth it.

80. The Dictator (2012)- Larry Charles

The Dictator Trailer

Am I the only one that is over the whole, sexist, racist, bigoted, flat out offensive Sacha Baron Cohen movies? I'll admit that he was hilarious in Borat, because he was interacting with real people who had no idea what the hell was going on. Bruno was a more disgusting over the top version of Borat, but this film was not even funny. Now, I'm not easily offended, so that isn't the problem here. My issue is that the dialogue just sounds stupid, and targets people to offend that often can't defend themselves, which I am not okay with. I think the idea of a Middle Eastern dictator coming to the United States, especially New York has the potential to be hilarious, providing that you are willing to laugh at the ridiculousness of popular culture. However, the jokes and insults were so overly scripted that they did not seem natural, and even in a film like this, which is so irrational and would NEVER happen, I still like to have some sort of component of reality, and with dialogue like that, I just couldn't get passed it. I'm sure he'll make another crude, offensive movie sometime soon, and I hope that one is more like Borat and less like Bruno.

79. Dark Shadows (2012)- Tim Burton

Dark Shadows Trailer

As much as I adore Tim Burton's work, especially in collaboration with Johnny Depp, this film just felt slightly dead to me, pun totally intended. The idea for the story was great. A vampire, who was buried in the ground, escapes two hundred years later, in the year 1972. He returns back to his family's manor, only to find that it is not the grand old palace that it used to be. He works to restore the former glory that the Collins family once had back in the day. Only one problem, well several problems but the main one comes when the witch, who casted the spell on Barnabus Collins (Johnny Depp), returns to seek vengeance on the family once again. All of this sounds great on paper, along with the belief that there would be some sort of creepy dark humor that usually comes along with a Tim Burton film. In this film, however, the jokes just fell flat, leaving the audience feeling uncomfortable and disappointed. Especially since the cast was fantastic: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Chloë Grace Mortez, and Eva Green. I would've like to see Burton take a more radical approach in this film, either making it scarier, or clumsy funny. Either way, it would have had some much needed "oomph." This film seemed like Tim Burton was getting pressure from the studios to force out a "hit" film, and it just fell flat.